I’m sure everyone has been asked this question at some point in their lives. Everyone wants to know what your next move is? This question may come from friends, colleagues, family members and well-wishers. You might have just graduated from the university, completed NYSC, completed law school, got out of a relationship, started a new relationship or just gotten married, people will always ask you this question because they want to know what your next move is, as a means of validation or measurement of their life struggles and achievements alike.

This question can be particularly annoying especially when you are still trying to figure your life path, and the next step to take, or you are worried and you feel lost because you are stuck and you don’t just know where to start from? We live in a society where people don’t get to fully appreciate the value of their current stage in life. We hardly enjoy our achievements, or our milestones. We don’t learn from our failures before jumping into the next season of life. The unspoken rule is that you should always be on the move, there should always be something happening for you but the reality is, sometimes life’s complexity and uncertainty fuels the dilemma of confusion, and you just don’t know what the next step is.

I used to put myself under a lot of pressure when anyone asked me; Moyo, so what’s next for you? I felt I needed to have the perfect answer. If you find yourself in this situation where everyone keeps asking you what your next move is and you just don’t know, you should always refer back to this article.

A lot of people asking this question already have a standard answer in which they expect you to give. For example, if you just graduated, the obvious answer should be: “I will be resuming at XYZ company next week, and that company pays well and offers great benefits.” Once your answer is different from this, the person asking almost always seems unimpressed. Almost everyone is always under pressure to have the perfect answer to a “what is next” question. I was no exception. I used to love this question because it was an opportunity for me brag about my plans and how well I was going to execute them.

There is one incident I will never forget. Towards the end of my externship program at the Law School, we had to sign a document with the Attorney General of Ogun State. (Ogun is a State in Nigeria.) Just before the Attorney General signed my document, he asked: 

“so, what’s next for you after law school?”

I smiled, and spoke with so much confidence. This was an opportunity for me to brag about my plans and I ran with it.

“I will be travelling immediately after law school to start my Master’s degree at the University of Toronto.”

 I noticed he was impressed, so I kept speaking.

“I will be doing a Master of Laws with a concentration in Business Law.” Now he was really impressed.

 What courses will you be taking, he asked? 

I listed all the courses I was going to be offering with no hesitation. He then advised me to take International Arbitration, because it is a very good and useful course. Mission accomplished! He was impressed.

Moments like this were priceless for me and I didn’t realize how damaging this was. I judged people who didn’t know what their next steps were. I always thought they were lazy and lackadaisical about life. Then came that life changing moment for me. The lady who always knew what her next steps were, suffered a humbling defeat at the hands of uncertainty, I suddenly lost all convictions about where I was going in life, I was lost. This was after I had failed my bar exam twice, a friend asked me this question; Moyo, so what next?

I remained silent in that moment. I honestly didn’t know what was next. I was so scared of saying “I don’t know” because I didn’t want to be tagged as “lazy and lackadaisical”. My mind raced as I thought of what to tell her. After a minute of silence, I broke down in tears and I muttered the words: “I DON’T KNOW”. I felt helpless, and humiliated but at the same time I felt relived, It felt good to let it out, and it felt good to be vulnerable. In that moment, I realized that it’s okay not to know what your next step is, it’s okay not to be always be on the move, and it’s okay not to have it figured out.

The society we live in has our mind wired to think that we always need to know what we are doing. If you don’t know, you don’t know and sometimes it’s okay not to know. Sometimes life happens and things don’t go our way and in those moments, you need to be proud of how far you have come with the understanding that this is only a season. Instead of beating yourself up about it, learn from those moments and re-strategize so that you can go into the next season ready.

You don’t owe anybody an answer to this question. The truth is most of them don’t even care about you. Most people are intrusive and are always seeking to pry in your business. Do not let anybody put you under pressure because you are not in a competition with anyone. Take your time and do you according to your pace.

When next anybody hits you up with the: So what’s next question, and you actually don’t know, Smile, and tell them: “I DON’T KNOW” because in the end, everybody will be alright!