Every day, I see what a lot of people who have attained milestones post on social media without a mention of the many things that went on in the background. People deliberately hide their failures, and only tell you what they want you to know because we all want to appear perfect. I have read a lot of stories of internationally trained lawyers who have gone through the lawyer licensing process. Some said it was very easy for them, others said it was seamless. I could have easily done the same but I have decided not to because I know that there are people out there who can learn a thing or two from my licensing journey. How? 

I started articling in July 2018 at the City of London, London Ontario and I had registered to write the Ontario Barrister exam (Barrister) in November. I had heard horrific stories of how difficult the exams were and how easily people failed them especially lawyers from other jurisdictions. I thought people exaggerated the exams and I thought to myself “if you can survive the Nigerian Law School, you can survive anything” but I was wrong! 

I was articling and studying at the same time, which made the task even harder. I cut out every social activity and focused solely on work and study. The day to write the exam finally came, and I had to head to Toronto from London to write the exam. The Law Society permits a maximum ten vacation days during the articling program, so I didn’t have the luxury of taking time off to study because I needed to reserve some of those days for my next bar exam (Solicitor). 

The exam was seven hours, and was divided into two parts. The first part had 120 multiple choice questions and the second part had 120 multiple choice questions. After the exam, I felt mentally drained and exhausted. Everyone kept asking me how the exams went, but the truth was, I didn’t know. You never really know with these exams. I got back to London around 12am that day because I had to be at work the next day. 

Five weeks had passed since I wrote the Barrister exam and I was really getting impatient. I kept wondering when the results were going to be released. I had just left the office and I was waiting for the bus. It had just started snowing and it was freezing cold. Then I heard my phone ring, a text had just come in from a friend that “the results were out”.I was scared and I could feel my heart beating really fast. I decided to wait until I got home before I checked, but my curiosity got the best of me. I checked when I got on the bus and alas!

I had failed.

I didn’t know how to process this information, because I wasn’t expecting it. How was I going to tell my boss that I had failed? I had a trial to run the next day, how was I supposed to get myself through this news and run a trial? I was devastated. I cried all night and I looked like crap to work the next day. Thankfully, my boss and the group of lawyers that I work with are the most supportive group of people. I told my boss that I couldn’t run the trial because I was a mess, and I also told them about the news. They understood and encouraged me to write the exam again. 

This time, the stakes were higher. I had to write the two exams (re-write the Barrister exam and write the Solicitor exam) and I had only two months to prepare for 10 courses while I was working full time. This was the craziest thing I had ever done, and I had a lot of people tell me not to do this because the work load was crazy. I ignored what everyone had to say because I didn’t really have a choice. The City had indicated that they were going to retain me but this was predicated on my passing both exams and getting called to bar in June. That was the plan and I couldn’t afford to pass on that opportunity. 

My schedule was crazy and I didn’t have a life anymore. 

8:30am – 4:30pm – work 

4:30pm – 6:00 pm – commute home

7:00pm – 12:00am – sleep 

12:00am – 6:00am – study 

7:00am – 8:00am – commute to work

I was always exhausted and I was barely productive. I was studying courses that I had never done in my life on my own and it was very difficult. I had constant headaches, because I wasn’t sleeping properly. I cried almost every day because there were days I just couldn’t deal with the stress. I was off social media for months and I said no to any event I got invited for. I gained a lot of weight because I was stress eating and there were some courses I just didn’t understand. An example was Tax. I and Tax are not friends. The weather was also not helping. The City Solicitor’s office was very supportive, they let me stay in my office and study on most days. Sometimes, they brought me coffee just so that I could get through the day. Lawyers that practiced some areas of law I was getting tested on explained these areas to me. They constantly gave me lectures and they did all they can to make sure I passed the exams this time. I also had family and friends that were very supportive. I had friends who called me every morning to wake me up so I could study. I had friends who prayed for and with me during this period. 

The day finally came and I had to head to Toronto to write the exam. This time, I was scared, really scared. This was it, and there was no failing this time. It was another long excruciating seven hours of my life. The exam was finally over and I had to head back to London that night. I was so exhausted and drained from all the stress and I was left alone by the office the next day to sleep and recuperate. My heart started to beat as I wondered if I had failed again. Two weeks came in no time and I had to travel to Toronto to write the Solicitor exam. I found the solicitor exam harder because I am naturally drawn to the barrister module. I got more scared. If I didn’t pass these exams, I would lose my job and spend the next months studying again. The pressure was a lot. Everyone at work was asking how the exams went, friends and family who had been praying for me were also asking. I was living in anxiety because again, I didn’t know how the exams went.

The waiting period is always the hardest because you don’t know what your fate is. I got a text from a friend a few weeks later, telling me that the results were out and I instantly had a panic attack. I couldn’t breathe well and my body was shaking. I knew the repercussion of failing these exams.

Barrister: PASS

Solicitor: FAIL

I had failed the solicitor exam and this was a hard pill to swallow. Thank God for good friends and family who were constantly calling to check up on me to make sure I was okay. I wouldn’t have survived this without them. The lawyers at work were also very helpful. The thought of losing my job, having to study and write the exam again was enough torture. After crying for several days, I had to get myself together so I could tell my boss. I sent him an email and he came into my office so I could tell him the news in person. I didn’t know what to expect because I had heard that someone got fired from her firm for failing the bar exams. I wasn’t expecting to get retained, I just didn’t want to lose my articling position.  

When he heard the news he was excited, he jumped up and congratulated me. What about Solicitor’s he asked?I failed,I said. I was shocked at his response.People fail these exams all the time, don’t feel bad about it. I know you have worked so hard and it’s very unfortunate but you have to take the exams again in June. You can’t give up, and I am sure you will pass it this time. I know you are worried about your job, don’t worry about it, you can continue articling with the City and once you are done, we will give you some time off to study for the exam. We trust that you will pass this time and will join us as a lawyer in September.I was also told to return after the exam to continue working as an articling student until I got called.  

This was the last thing I was expecting to hear. I was grateful and excited about the news because I had been given another chance and the lawyers at work greatly believed in me. Different people advised otherwise, they said I should take a break from the exams and write it next year. Some said I should take some time off and do something different. I was very confused because I was mentally exhausted and I didn’t want to go sit in a hall for 7 hours again. 

I finally decided to write the exam in June, and my boss’s at work made sure I got competent support. They went through my materials and taught me some part of the materials. I was allowed to ask questions whenever I had them, and sometimes, I was left alone in my office to study. Once my articling was over, I travelled and took some time off to study. 

The day of the exam finally came, and I wrote it in London this time (they only have centres in London in June). Again, I didn’t know what to expect but I found that I was not as nervous this time. There were less people writing in London, and the exam was more orderly. Signing in and out was also fast which gave me more lunch time. The pressure was even more this time. Everyone at work was waiting, everyone at church was asking, friends and family members were always calling. 

After waiting painfully for five weeks, the result finally came in. I got a text from a friend that the result was out and I almost had a panic attack. It took me 3 hours to check after I got her text. 

Solicitor: PASS

Everyone was excited on my behalf, everyone at work was elated at this news and we all celebrated. Family and friends who had been praying for me were all relieved. This was the beginning of a new chapter for me.

I cannot count how many times, I almost gave up with these exams and I second guessed myself several times. I broke down several times because at a point I was really frustrated. So many people who post about their success deliberately omit the sleepless night, rejections and failures they have experienced which is sad because failing is always part of the story. For internationally trained lawyers, I understand the struggle. I know how challenging it is to find an articling position, I know how scary it is to get handed 1600 pages of materials you have no idea about six weeks to the exam, I know how difficult it is to work full time and study at the same time, I know how nerve racking it is to go through all of these process and still remain jobless. That’s why I am sharing my story today, to encourage licensing candidates and any other person who can relate to this, not give up. It is definitely doable, and if I can do it, you can definitely do it. 

I would like to share some of the things I did differently, when I wrote the exam for the last time:

1.    I started exercising, eating well, and sleeping properly. This was something I didn’t do when I wrote the exams the first and second time. We tend to underestimate the importance of rest most times.

2.    During the first and second time l was preparing for these examinations, I was off social media for a long period, and I turned down every invitation. I had limited time and I wasn’t going to waste it. But hanging out with people and doing other things are also necessary. Studying can get very tiring and it is advisable to plan your time in such a way that even if it is little, you can do other activities during this period so far you understand that your exams are a priority. This l did by first travelling for few days to break away from a very boring norm and I also started interacting with other people.

3.    I reached out to lawyers who had failed the exams in the past and l was able to learn from their mistakes.

4.    Try as much as possible to surround yourself with people that will encourage you and have a good support system. You do not need any negativity around you during this period. I had friends that took turns to call me by 12 am because they knew I was exhausted and I might have slept off. I had friends who were always praying for me. My co-workers are the best and they were always cheering me on. 

5.    Take advantage of the resources that are provided to you by the Law society. The law society will send you a report if you fail. With this report you can know what courses you need to improve upon. They also offer tutorials to people who have failed. I took advantage of the tutorials and I found them very helpful especially for Criminal law and Tax. 

6.    Connect with the NCA and LSO bar exam groups on Facebook. I found some study buddies on this group. People also share great resources such as past questions, cheat sheet, summary notes and so many other things on these groups. 

Conclusion

I wish you the very best at your next attempt. Cheers!